Wednesday, March 18, 2009

VENTING!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, i am gonna just start it right off!! i am sooo upset right now. my niece and i just had a huge discussion-she has had for the 3rd day in a row, not done good at school!! too many rudes and not following directions. of course all this since the weekend at her moms. where the rules and lifestyles are completely different!!! so different that i cannot even begin to explain. she is 10 years old and yes she should at this age be let to have more freedom(which she is mad that i wont let her), but she can't!! she is way to knowledgeable of sex and violence that she can't just be let loose. I am trying to limit what she sees and hears and for what? for when she goes home to see and hear all the wrong stuff and be right back where i have started? it is becoming so hard for her. i feel for her so much. she is sooo mad at me for taking away the cd that she was singing britney sex songs!! she already knows too much!!! which led to her just being mad at me for everything. i had to explain to her that her mom called here and asked if she could stay and if i could help her, and that we are making the right decisions for the care that she needs. i told her that she is smart, funny, beautiful and worth more than just having sex with some random person. then she starts telling me of the sex that she has seen her mom have with men. OOOHHH MYYY GOOODNESS!!!! is this really happening? i am just about to croak!! for her and her sister and me and kyle for that matter. i just tried to explain this stuff and it about led to a blow out!! but i backed down and just let it be. she is going there friday for 10 days! it is gonna be hell for her to get back into the routine for school and such...if she comes back! yes i said it, i don't think she will, but who am i? the chopped liver, gouchy, mean, keeping you here, awful aunt!! if she could only understand!!! if only.....


3 comments:

Snot Head said...

I'm sorry for your pain, and I'm sorry that this little girl has all but lost her innocence because of her mother. It is unfair to her on so many levels. She is just a little older than Momma B's A, and I can't imagine A talking about things like that, seeing things like that. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. I can only imagine how I would feel if it were A in that situation and me trying to take care of her. My heart would be broken. I would be frustrated and angry, and I would be tired. You are giving it your all, and until the state steps in further to stop the visits or realize there really is an issue, it is going to continue be overwhelming. Again, I am sorry for your pain.

3DNP said...

Like snot head...so sorry for your pain! I cant begin to imagine the torture on you and the torture that girl has been through and seen. Again her innocense is gone and for what?!! You are doing what you can for her and until the state steps in that is all you can do. The frustration I cant begin to imagine what you are going through. You are in my prayers and I hope things get worked out for the her best interest!!

Momma B said...

Oh My God, what is wrong when doing the right thing is so much to ask? I am really sorry that your brain is about to explode, along with your heart!