the news

ok, i am gonna rant for a few minutes so if you don't want to hear it, x me out now!!! i turned on the news to see what the weather was predicted to be (hoping for some spring like stuff soon) and the first thing i hear is about the 11 year old that shot his dad's 9 month pregnant g/f. WHAT???????????? 11 years old, 2 more innocent lives gone. AN UNBORN BABY??? it is almost too hard to fathum. 11 years old, never in trouble, "a good kid" pushed by jealousy"!! are you serious? how sad it is that they keep getting younger and younger committing crimes like this. then my next thought was my niece living with me. she has major anger issues, oppositional defiance disorder, adhd, ocd, ptsd, and, and, and, it scares me to death to think of what could happen. how angry she could get and be pushed? it can happen obviously. and another ? who the WORLD buys there 11 year a shot gun??? that is just CRAZY to me!!! why put weapons in their hands? I HATE GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes for all of you gun people--guns dont kill people, people kill people-i get it, but obviously if there was no gun in the house -OR THAT HE KNEW HOW TO USE-it might not have happened. anyway, enuff of the major controversy i just started. back to my niece--i trembled inside at the thought of the possibility that this could be her if the help she is continuing to get stops. yesterday was the worst day ever. she is soooooo mad at me right now after the weekend with her mom. she wants go where it is "fun" "where there is a (my words-stupid freakin) playstation with games (you know that are violent killing games not anything kid like.) i seen while there a head be ripped off and an arm and blood everywhere on this game. gee, now take someone with mental issues and let them play it, good idea right???? gggrrrrrr, i am so frustrated with the way things have happened. she is mad because they spent the weekend knocking me and now she is here and feels that i am wronging her mother. man there is soooo much history that some of this may not make sense to people who do not know the situation, but i have to rant..vent, and get it out before i blow up!!! gggrrrrrr....and yes for those of you thinking foster care will be like this-YES I KNOW--but it will be different because my it is not my family (yet anyway) that i have invested my whole heart and soul into, to make sure they have what they need, food to eat, clothes to wear and to feel as much love as they can from me for 10 years!!!! since they were born--it is really hard!! i am up for the challenge-don't worry, i just needed to vent. the reason i am mad is because it is preventable. she is soooooo impressionable it is ridiculous...they can spend the week complaining about me, just not where she can hear it. of course there is not reason to complain, just insecurity.

ok then on to the next subject...the next thing i hear is about the mother of 14 children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gggrrrrrr....no job, no house, no partner of any type, on public aid--GETTING IVF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes i have heard about it before today, but today it just seems to be too much to listen to. I can't have children as you know and let me tell you, i do NOT know how a woman with six kids in her situation could even begin to afford it, let alone be selfish enuff to do it again. she has two kids with disabilities. help them extra, love them, love the six you have!!!! it is like 10,000$ per try for ivf...each one of her kids were ivf...that is a lot of money. gggrrrrr....there are a lot of feelings rolling around in my head today. i pray for all those sweet innocent children who were brought into this mess. i pray for the whole family...and this lady wants to be a counselor or psychiatrist, think she needs to go to one for awhile. heck maybe i do after today and yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol....

ok, my ranting is over...some people may think i am one way or the other on these subjects, they are highly controversial subjects i know and i see some of both sides, it am just expressing my opinion on the things i am going thru...

well, i thank you for listening to me..holla back and lets chat.

i am gonna get to my moving my house around. we have take our bed out and put up the twin beds and put the full bed in our room(gonna be tight fitting with the 2 6-8lb dogs who literally hog the bed), paint our room and the kids room. i am excited to get this done. i will share some pics soon...

i am going to my daily devotional and feel the love...hope you have a great day!! have a blessed day!!

Me? making hats, never thought, but man it is awesome!!!

Well as I sit here with a list a mile long (literally) of things to do I decided to upload and share the pics of the hats i learned to make friday from momma b (who rocks might I add). Of course Kyle snatched the first one the tan one, and I gave my niece Cassy the awesome pink and blue one. Which I will make another of. It was kyle's suggestion and i never would have put those two together, but it looked really neat. So i say again, Me? Making hats? I never thought in a million years I would, but it is awesome. First and foremost is the helping reason, second of all everyone wants one, third of all it is something I can do without having to have perfect vision. I am rally excited...but now the housework and to do list will be much longer than usual..lol...

Hope everyone had a great weekend!! It was nice, but too short as always!! Guess I should get to that mile long list, take care, be safe and smile--God loves ya!!! TTYL...

man it's cold outside....

howdy hoo...that's better...anyway, how's it going? great, great. guess what? i am breaking down and going to buy some looms and yarn tonite!! yes you heard me right. i am jumping on the yarn wagon. they are really neat and i want to help also. i am sooo excited to learn. momma b is coming over tomorrow to show me. not only am i excited about the time with her, but that i will learn a new trade. the smiles above are from the hat and scarf momma b gave heaven. which she loves dearly.

well-not much to tell really. the friend that i had blogged about 2 x ago and i are getting along. we had lunch once and are going again tomorrow. i am really glad. i don't like it when there are bad feelings between me and someone else. so that worked out...

we have had worker after worker here lately. almost done with the licensing process, just a couple more weeks. i am really excited to get that done. so it is just he crazy day to day stuff that keeps us busy. which i kinda enjoy. our house went from just kyle and i (and the 2 boyz) to heaven with workers and appts and homework and, and. and all the extra help she needs. seeing the improvement in her is AWESOME!!! she is doing so well. she doesn't know it yet but her glasses are in and she is gonna be sooo happy. yes she is a kid who is very excited about getting them. she is gonna feel like a million bucks tomorrow and i am o excited for her. plus it will help keep her eye that is not quite with it all the time, with the other one. which will help her headaches and stuff.

we are going to bloomington tonite to get her shoes and glasses and some clothes. and of course the looms. then saturday we are going back to bloomington to pick up a set of twin beds that a furniture place donated to us. heaven's worker hooked us up. it is sooo nice how compassionate people can be. not only compassionate, but refreshing. well, guess i should get back to my work on the house and such. hope that you all have a wonderful blessed day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

friday night lights....

hello hello!! been awhile again. i have been catching myself coming and going. well, i take that back, yesterday and the day before i did pretty much nothing. just chillin a bit, some down time. i just made literally like more than 1000 flashcards for us to help heaven practice her words and math. she really broke my heart again tonite. she is so down on herself. she was calling herself stupid and dumb because she didn't know how to do multiplication yet. she said"i am ten years old and i know everyone is doing more than addition and subtraction, i am too stupid too learn it". i wanted to die inside for her. she trys so hard. i can't believe that she has to go thru this. she is way more grown in some ways and way not in others. i decided tonite come high water i am gonna help her. her teachers do a wonderful job at the school she is now. i just know that we can help her also. now that i am ready to cry......i am gonna move on.

never in my life have i ever been more ready for spring/summer. i want to be outside. i want a garden. this cold stuff is ridiculous. been some cold days to ralph's and back, that's for sure.

i have taken over the website, myspace and making a facebook for our church. it is something that i really enjoy-a lot. i hope to (when i get it going more) reach people and spread His Word. i wish there was church like on tuesdays, thursdays, and Sundays. seriously.

next week should be the last visit from out licensing worker. i have had a worker of some type here for the last 3 weeks and 2 more to go. heavens interventionist will be here the following week. anyway, mind is wondering a little. i am excited to get all that done. had to get heaven her physical today to give to her when she comes again. wrapping things up...wooohoooooo!!!

so the friday night lights thing is a bit of irony. it is friday night and i sit here by the light of the computer and tv. happy that our lives have changed and i won't wake up (or go to bed) sick. that i am not doing something that i am sure to regret if drinking. who new the simple life would be so nice? glad i found out.

i am a little excited about Sunday. and no it is not because of football...gag me...well guess kinda it is...heading to momma b's house for some friends, food, laughter and love. wooohoooooo!!! am ready for that. some good ole belly laughs. it is the best med you know??!!!!

my boyz are all snuggled up...kyle is snoring and the little boyz are under the covers not to be seen until about 1:30ish, you know=right after i fall asleep, ggrrrr....happens everytime. we all actually get to sleep in tomorrow. guess i should start picking up the mess and winding down some...wish you all a blessed happy day tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! ttfn....

mind wondering issues...

hey...ok my mind is just running crazy today!! well it wasn't til just a little bit ago. see i have this friend, well maybe she is still a friend, that things went very very sour and we have not talked in months. i have been thinking a lot about her, seeing her in my dreams, seeing her in town, lately seeing her name on the computer being friends with my other friends, and it makes me wonder if i should contact her? should i see how things go, give it a little more and just bust it out there? or should i wait? but wait for what? wait for more time to pass and there may not be a chance to say what i need to say, or wait til it is just not fixable? or...should i just throw my heart out there and if she rejects me, fine, but she will know where i stand, that i forgive her and that i am really not upset, mad, or even hurt in the least anymore. to tell her all kinds of things. man, i can't figure out what to say, should i shouldn't i? just running myself crazy...and my hubby...no surprise there....

today is just a thought provoking day i guess. church was awesome and it got me thinking what is my dream? what do i want to do with the gifts God gave me? What is my purpose exactly? hhmmmm...just think think think....

well, guess i will go and try to run myself crazier....

feels like we are living in the country....

ok--so i am just gonna bust it all out there...who knew that gibson was like living in the country. this is almost ridiculous. don't get me wrong-i love it here, but these animals have GOT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is worse than sibley could have ever been about animals. we have possums in our yard! we have foxes run thru the yard, skunks, and did i mention stupid disgusting creepy little mice are in our house now. UUGGHHHHH!!! i can't take it. first of all i am afraid a possum will eat my 2 little dogs...lol...irrational i am sure, but a concern yet the same. chili (the chihuahua) has little dog syndrome and chases everyhting in the world. oh yeah speaking of which, i forgot to mention there are more squirrels that people here also. back to the mice. i am so afraid of them i could choke to death. makes me feel like the house is dirty and not right. today we have cught the third one!!! yuk, yuk, yuk.... everyone's like its cold out, look where you live(between a grain plaice and bean place) ur bound to have them...WHY I ASK< class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ok, my ranting is over now.

and yes, we are living in alaska!! man it is terrible. both my boyz have had a turn freezing their feet up. chili was crying really hard one night-he chased a squirrel and was froze by the time he got up to the house. they are cold anyway since they are so little. never a small dog again---only big ones!!! my aunt lala has the perfect dog!! i am so in love and so jealous...she is husky and shepard--beautiful looks, perfect temperment, and soooooo loving and sweet and gentle...she is wonderful.

well today is another day of being in the house. i have not been out of the house since Sunday!!! while it is very nice, i need to get to Ralph's. I am feeling very bad about not being there. It has been too cold for heaven to walk and me for that matter the last few days. stuff that needs to be done. butt he good part is heaven and i get to play games and enjoy our time.

well, i hone everyone is staying warm and cozy as possible, happy friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ttyl, Tina

hey all, happy Tuesday!! it is nice and sunny, only freezing!!! you know, i love the cold weather, but i am really starting to get used to the idea of liking spring and summer. i am ready for my garden, fires, sitting outside, and having the outside of the house look pretty-instead of drab. it's almost 1:30pm and feels like ti should be 8pm already. heaven (my niece that is living with us) had the flu allll night last night. puke, poop, puke, then more puke. thank goodness she is 10 and can make it to the bathroom and doesn't even want anyone in there with her. i stay outside the door. man, how could i have gotten any luckier? for those of you who don't know me---I CANT STAND PUKE. not even my own. my dearest sweet hubby helps me and cleans up after me when i am sick. thank goodness for him also!!!! she should be starting school tomorrow if no more pukey puke happens. she is really excited she gets to go to her old school again. i am excited for her. hoping that they can help her as much as they did before. only thing, i will not know what to do with my time when she is not here. Ralph will be happy that i can get back on track with him. i know he really depends on me.

just sitting around taking it easy pretty much today, hoping that the pains in my stomach are from digesting food instead of working up a puke fest. uugghhhh.... not a lot of stuff going on anymore. things are starting to slow down to normal. whatever that may be...lol.

well, i am getting really sleepy so i am gonna take a rest i think...hope you all have had a wonderful day and enjoy your night...be back soon....